How To Cleverly Handle Kaypohs Over CNY

We do not need the approval of others to lead our lives. However, you won’t be praised for being impolite and ripple negativity over a happy occasion like CNY. So even if you need to “shut some nosy people up”, we need to learn the art of doing so cleverly.

Nosy Question 1: When are you getting married?

1. We actually just broke up, he/she couldn’t handle my successes and it was a shame.

2. Why? Do you have someone in mind for me?

Nosy Question 2: How much money do you make?

1. With the CPF contributions and all, i don’t really know how much i make. You know CPF can be quite complicated to calculate right? You know uncle/auntie, you cannot withdraw your CPF monies until another xxx years you know? Oh, do you have enough money in your CPF for retirement? Have you done your nomination?
2. Not enough. You want to give me more?

Nosy Question 3: Why don’t you have a job?

1. I have a job. Taking care of my parents is my job and i’m visiting you with them. I’m doing my job as a son/daughter isn’t it?
2. Do you know what does job stands for? Just Over Broke. If i’m just over broke i won’t be able to give ang baos.

Nosy Question 4: Have you gained weight?

1. I’m reviving a lost tradition that having some weight symbolise prosperity. So you better gain some weight too.
2. That’s because i am having a very good life.

Nosy Question 5: Did you cut your hair?

1. Yes, that’s what human beings do every few weeks right?
2. No, i don’t cut my hair. A hairstylist does it for me.